“A dog is not a child and should not be treated like a child”.
“It is bad to treat a dog like a human, you should respect a dog for being a dog”.
I come across sentiments like these all of the time when studying and researching dog behavior (and yes, even though I am a trainer, I still do this all of the time as I am always trying to better myself for my two, three and four legged clients). I also hear these statements said to me when I go to people’s home to help them out with their dog issues. Usually they come with some admission of guilt like “I let my dog sleep with me every night and I know that is wrong...”. Problem is, while I agree with these statements for the most part, when taken as an absolute, these statements can also be wrong and cause unnecessary feelings of guilt from owners.
First let me be clear...
I believe dogs are dogs. They are wonderful creatures that should never be turned into humans. Dogs by nature are very loyal, trusting and caring beings. I believe we should allow them to be dogs and respect their dogginess. If one does not do this, I believe behavioral problems occur. I have seen many many dogs over the years acting out because they do not know how to be dogs. They are unsure of themselves, unsure of their place in the world, are treated like they are humans, or are spoiled so much that it makes them very uncomfortable. Usually when I see this, I see a very defeated and unhappy dog. It breaks my heart each and every time. So in those respects, I agree totally with the original statements.
However, raising a dog can be very much like raising a child. Yes, that is correct, you are hearing me actually admit it. Now for anybody who is thinking I am completely out of my mind here, let me explain...
Basic psychology is basic psychology. It really does not matter if you are talking human or animal on some levels. If a being receives positive results from an action, that being learns quickly what that action means and the results from doing so. On the same note, if the being has negative consequences from an action, the being quickly learns to not do that action or to move to another action which brings about a more desired consequence.
Ah...now let’s put this into a more concrete example...
You are walking your dog, your dog barks as strangers approach. You do nothing but walk by. The dog repeats the barking with the next stranger. What just happened? In this case, your dog was probably saying “Get away, get away, get away”...the stranger could not care less and actually walks away...your dog receives no feedback from you. Your dog leaves the encounter thinking “I wanted the stranger to get away, I barked, my barking drove the stranger away, I will do that again”. In this case there was no feedback from the owner and the dog achieved the desired result with his behavior.
Ok, lets take the example again but add in some reinforcement from mom or dad. A couple is walking their dog, a stranger approaches, dog barks. Mom or dad bends down, picks up the dog, says something to the dog like “oh stop that, they are not afraid of you” laughs and goes on. In this case, the dog was saying “Get away, get away, get away”, the dog gets picked up thus giving validity to the uneasy feeling the dog was having that was causing the behavior, the stranger walks away thus giving the dog it’s desired reaction AND the owners are also rewarding that behavior for happening by picking up the dog and talking to it in that manner. So what happens next time...same thing, maybe even intensified.
Same situation with a different action thrown in. Couple is walking their dog, stranger approaches, dog barks. Mom and dad give a leash correction telling the dog “knock it off” the dog stops the barking. The stranger walks past. Mom and dad continue on the walk thinking the problem is solved...or is it??? Hmmmm...
In this case the dog was saying “get away, get away get away”, mom and dad interrupted the behavior with a negative reinforcer ie the leash correction, the dog stopped the barking and walked past. But is the behavior fixed? I would suggest that it is not. Sure the barking stopped BUT the root of the problem is not fixed ie the dog being uncomfortable with being approached by strangers AND the action was not positively reinforced thus there is really no reason for the dog to repeat the action other then the fear of another leash jerk. In this regard, the barking may decrease but it is just as likely to get replaced by another negative and possibly more severe behavior like lashing out.
Ok so lets take this scene again but add in another element. Couple walking dog, stranger approaches, dog barks. Mom and dad get the dogs attention through a tug on the leash (and notice I say “tug” not “jerk” or “correction”, a noise they make, a touch, presenting a ball (treat, toy), barking stops, stranger walks by, mom and dad immediately praise the dog. Now we have something...now we have a behavior that the dog can understand and will want to repeat. Combining this kind of theory with desensitization exercises that encourage your dog to accept and like strangers will bring about much better results then anything the first three methods will.
In this case, teaching this dog is a lot like teaching your child...you have to teach a child right from wrong, you have to teach them appropriate behavior and what is expected. You get better results by keeping calm, guiding your child and explaining to them about consequences then you do by saying things like “just do it because” or by coming down hard on your child each and every time without explaining to them why. Same thing with dogs, the methods of communication may differ but the theory is very similar.
Let’s take another thing I hear all of the time when working with clients...”Oh I don’t think I am going to be able to do X because my dog is really not going to like that...” X could be something as simple as not using pee pads in the house, or using a kennel to help stop house destruction. My response to owners in this case is “just because your dog is not going to like it does not mean that your dog should not do it”. I usually get a smile and a shake of the head. I then go on to explain something like this. When one raises a child, they expect the child to do certain things; go to bed on time, eat their vegetables, do their homework, go to school. These are things that are very positive activities that the child must do. As parents you encourage them to do it, you guide them and you expect them to conform to these expectations. Why? You do so in order to raise your child right, to give them some positive rules and guidelines to follow so that they grow into happy and healthy adults. They may not like eating their vegetables, going to school, having a bedtime...but you enforce those rules anyway. Why should it be any different for our dogs? Just because a dog does not like going outside to pee, just because it does not like walking next to you on leash, and just because it does not like being in the kennel does not mean that the dog should not comply. It also does not mean the dog cannot be taught to not only accept but enjoy these activities. Why go to the trouble of teaching this? Because you want to raise a happy and healthy dog and by setting out rules, structure, discipline and boundaries that are fair, understood, rewarded and able to be met by the dog, you are setting the ground work in raising a happy and healthy dog.
For the last comparison, I am going to use the original “my dog sleeps on the bed with me and I know that i wrong” sentiment that I hear so much. Where this strong belief comes from I have no idea. Let me say it...if you want your dog sleeping with you on your bed, there is absolutely NOTHING wrong with it. I hear people out there screaming...”What about my being the alpha?” “What about the message I am sending to my dog”...my response....”Oh Baloney!”.
Let’s bring our kid comparison back. If a kid is a good kid, getting good grades, behaving well, is polite and respectful, is it ok to give your child ice cream? Is it ok to let them stay up later on certain nights? Is it ok to give them some leeway? Sure it is. Why? Because the child has EARNED those privileges. If your child is not listening, is acting up, his grades are slipping, her attitude needs adjusting...what is the first thing that happens??? Privileges get stripped, grounding happens and the rules change until some positive changes occur.
It is the same thing with your dog. If your dog is being respectful to you, listens to you well, is polite and friendly, what is wrong with having them on your bed if that is what you wish and it is done on your terms? Absolutely nothing, just like your child. Your dog has earned that privilege. If your dog is acting up though, change the rules, take away some of the privileges and increase your expectations...pretty soon your pup will realize this and adapt to please you again.
So next time your dog starts to act up, I want you to think what are you doing to either contribute to this behavior or to effectively eliminate this behavior. If you seriously sit down and evaluate what is happening, I believe the answers you come up with may surprise you.