When you raise a child you...
- Set rules, structure, boundaries and guidelines to follow. You expect your child to live within these. You do this because you love your child, you want to raise your child right and want to see your child develop into a well balanced well adjusted adult.
- Sometimes you make your child do things that the child does not deem fair. You make your child eat his vegetables, go to school every day, do her home work. Sometimes the child kicks up hell for doing this, throws temper tantrums and calls you the worst parent in the world. Does this mean you stop making your child do those things? Nope! You keep it up because you know those things are good for your child and you want your child grow into a great adult.
- Do not let your child disrespect you or others. When your child steps out of line with this, you teach your child that this is not right and it is not something he or she should do.
- Realize if your child messes up but was previously doing ok, you know it is a phase or a mistake. You realize that everybody makes them. It does not mean the end of the world. It does not mean your child is going to grow up to be a serial killer. It means that this is something you are going to have to work through and with time, patience and understanding, you help your child move beyond it.
- Understand that regardless how much your child messes up, you are there to support and guide them through things. Failure to do so is not an option.
- You know that raising a child is a lot of work. This work takes time and commitment. Giving up or tossing up your hands in surrender because you do not have time to teach your child right from wrong is also not an option.
- Know that you will get more from praising your child for the 101 things right that your child does, than you will pointing out the 101 things wrong that the child does. Focus on the positive things, pretty soon positive things are what you are left with.
- Are not proud to call your child “a spoiled princess” or a “big bully” and if you recognize those traits in your child, you take immediate action to rectify those traits. (see statement 6)
- Realize that the love of your child is unconditional and it is a beautiful thing. It is a sacred trust and bond that should be cherished and never taken for granted. You are stuck with your child for life and fortunately they are stuck with you.
- Understand that sometimes you have to appear unfair in your child’s eyes because you are a parent. Sometimes it means you have to lay down the law and even though it kills you to do so, you know that in the end your child will come out better and stronger for it.
- Understand that proper communication with your child is important. Yelling, screaming, hitting....those things really do not work. If you are having trouble properly communicating with your child, you seek help from professionals then you put the work in.
- Know that if you are raising your child in a unhealthy and stressful environment, your child is going to act out. You understand that this is not the child’s fault, it is yours and you make the effort to change the environment. You know that your child is a reflection of you and what is going on around him or her.
- Raising a child is not rocket science. There is no handbook. Children have different personalities and dispositions. What works for one child may not work for another and just because you have a child that displays certain characteristics, does not mean your other child will be the same. Each child is an individual. You may have one child that causes you no issues and a second that makes you pull your hair out despite raising them together and attempting to do so in identical ways.
There are many many different and diverse opinions on how to correctly raise a child. Everybody and their dog has an opinion. What works for one parent may not work for another. But EVERYBODY realizes that regardless what methodology you use to raise a child, what value system you go by...the more work you put in, the more time and effort you put in, the better the child is going to be in the end.
Now...I want everybody to replace the words child and parent above with dog and owner.
Any questions